she was so not down for the gang bang
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
