Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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