Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Randomize
