Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
