So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
