my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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