I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
