we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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