Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
no you cant smoke seaweed
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
