do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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