Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
