the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I AM VODKA MAN
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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