great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Randomize
