Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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