They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
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