He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
