I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
