Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
