I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I want a musical about memes.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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