plz talk dirty to me
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
