it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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