No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It's shark week go big or go home
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
