I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
