he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
