Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
