i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
