dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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