haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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