CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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