youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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