So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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