he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
