i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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