he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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