The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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