Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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