i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Randomize
