Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
