We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Boobs speak an international language.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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