omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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