What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the condom got lost in my hair
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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