i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
