I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just want to make out with him forever
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
