I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
