my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
