its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I am naked and annoyed.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
