You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
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