Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
