i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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