scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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