I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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