how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
