He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
