Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
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