chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
