Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
