so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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