i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
