Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
