I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just forgot I was standing up.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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