I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
