Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
