everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
false alarm, still single
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
