I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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