fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
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